Kites or rather the lack of it.

There is only one reason a guy would or should consider watching the movie kites for. That reason is: Barbara Mori. If you are a girl, the only reason you would want to watch the movie is: Umm, err, I have nothing here actually. Lets face it, you can't really consider Hrithik as THE REASON. Period.


But then if you weigh the reasons that you shouldn't watch the movie for against those that you should for, Rest assured the scale tilts so fast that the "for" reasons will shoot out of it.

Next, if you are in Bangalore, you most probably will spend at the minimum, Rs200 for watching this movie, like I did at Innovative Multiplex. Yes Bangaloreans', that's where I went. Smirk all you want. Donating that Rs200 to a homeless fellow is an option that I urge you to consider immediately.

Having cleared all that, lets get to the movie. It's a combination of several movies. It starts off with a scene inspired from Bourne Identity. The it goes on to steal scenes from a million other Hollywood movies, all put together in a thankfully, 2 hour package. Hrithik is a dancer teacher in Vegas who spends all his money at his full time job as a player in the casino. He makes the money with a part time job as a dance teacher and occasionally marrying immigrants to help them gain a Green Card. And to prove the point that he is a dance teacher, he does a lot of dancing. Which kind of got boring to us audience. So as he goes along, one of his students tell him she loves him, to which he duly rejects. Shortly thereafter he finds out that she is the daughter of a casino owner. So he goes back to befriending her and somehow, somewhere in between, he starts going out with her. Then, he meets her brother and his fiance. Of course I forgot to mention, he meets that fiance ahead while diving. Yeah, sorta like seeing the beautiful mermaid in the sea. Only thing is this mermaid wears a Bikini, has feet and speaks only Spanish.

Anyway, he takes her out and the "bro" finds out and slaps her. Our charming Hrithik rises to the situation and whips out a gun at him and tries to save her. after a few shuffles, Hrithik and his mermaid hit the road in his Bentley continental GTC which coincidentally was given to him by his future father in law as a welcoming gift to the family. The rest of the story revolves round their run down south into Mexico and the close encounters they have with the cops and the "Bro". Lots of flames, accidents and flying cars ensue. In fact that was the only part of the movie where I didn't exactly feel sleepy. Ultimately Hrithik gets injured and is duly deposited into a carriage carrying hay by the Spanish "mermaid" while she makes a run for it. But unfortunately for her, the "bro" and his pack of USA Goondas are hot on her heels in their FBI spec black SUV's while she trundles along in a 1960's pick up. They chase her until she reaches a cliff where she sees no choice but to type out a good bye SMS to Hrithik and then drive off the cliff into the Sea. When Hrithik hears of this, he kills them villians all and in the process is shot by Kangana Ranaut(Did I mention she plays the role of the "sister of the villain", who obviously got dumped for the mermaid). Yet he survives that gun shot and manages to find his way to that very cliff at which he jumps into the water. And Kaka Kaka ishtyle(A tamil flick; for the dumbfounded) he sees her image in the water as he loses his life. End of story. Now tell me is that even worth the effort of reading. In fact I now wonder if it was worth the effort of typing out! :O

P.S. The above is not an exact rendition of the story, but explains the basic premise. IF you wish to hear an exact story I suggest you kill yourself at the theatre, I mean go watch the movie at the theatre.

Oh yes, apparently Rakesh Roshan intends to release the film in English. God save the Americans.