Engg in a state called Tamil Nadu.....

Three years of engineering education is over. And what have I learnt?? Here is a recap…..

- Examinations are the birthplace of mega^{^∞} serial story writers. Man the stories that are concocted in the examination are out of the world and unless you are a good writer and write stories for no less than forty pages, you will never make it big. I am one of those continuous flop producing writers mind you, so it has been a bitter experience seeing all those talented folk fly past me… sniff sniff….

- Whatever you study in the fours years of college will not in the least help you in your future, for the simple fact that, whatever you studied ‘was’ the latest in technology approximately half a century ago.

- Attendance is a matter of personal opinion. The staff’s personal opinion. If he thinks you need attendance to get through college, you are screwed. You get no internals. If the staff member is a pretty lenient guy whose just whiling away his life happily in college like several of my dept. staff, you get away easy..

- Inference from previous fact. Sign a contract with Amul. Because you’ll need all the butter that you can muster to butter up the staff. Apply as required(butter).

- As each semester passes by, study holidays tend to seem more like a prelude to what you can expect to do during the hols rather than a time when you actually get down to doing some studying…

- And finally, It’s a scam. Engineering education in Tamil Nadu is a SCAM!!! If you ask why? For heaven’s sake aren’t the above points enough?? Now I know why the industry complains about lack of graduates with proper skills. All the skills we develop thro’ 4 years are laziness, laziness and more laziness……..

Forgotten memories: 4th sem....

With everyone around writing about their experience with the wiring instructor, I thought it was about time I chipped in a bit about my experience too! But unfortunately my wiring experience was eventless with the only thing worth mentioning was that I didn’t study at all for my wiring lab test and as fate would have it got one of the complicated circuits, yet I drew the whole circuit completely by copying from a strategically placed chart with the circuit diagram on it on the wall in front of me(hail the brilliance of the wiring guy!!). So I am not going to talk about wiring. So what is it you may wonder? Read on I say……

Avanga Naaalu peru. Avangalaku bayama kidaiyathu*(at least that is what we are supposed to believe).They are part of the elite force of CIT. They toil day and night in shifts, risking their sleep to protect the institution. Yes they are the great watchmen!!!

This story has one hero (just one particular watchman). The story begins….

A summer evening around 5.30 p.m. The CIT parking lot. Amidst the few remaining bikes, stood a guy and a gal chatting. The guy was me. Wait, I can hear a few ‘ahems’ here. Let me clarify. The girl in this context, is technically speaking, my aunt.!!?? My mom’s direct cousin, but being younger than me by a few months, yet in a senior class to me, she prefers referring to me as her cousin to prevent any embarrassing moments in her class. Hence forth she shall be referred to as my cuz. So we were chit chatting standing by the bikes and this is what happened. (It is in conversation format and whatever is in brackets was what was running through our minds)

Cuz: So how are your studies and stuff?? Blah blah blah…(great Q. Exaclty what is not my forte and she asks about it)

Me: Blah blah blah….(Boring totally unnecessary crap. You don't wanna hear it, which is why i've used blah blah blah.)

As this goes on the afore mentioned watchman creeps up…

Wm: Which college are you from? Where is your ID??(At me)

Wm: same Question as above at my Cuz.

Me:huh? We are from CIT… (Hi I am Dr.Woodwards from MIT, USA and am here to do a survey on the dumbest college watchmen. You fit our specifications perfectly. Would you like to be our prime example? ) (Add a weird look to my face)

We showed him the ID cards which he promptly grabbed from us, turned around and started bunny hopping towards the main block while uttering the following lines.

Wm: Don’t you know that you are not supposed to stand and talk here? Get you ID cards from the principal’s office tomorrow…

Me: Huh?? What??(WTF?? Dear me had you told me earlier that standing and talking in the parking lot was a crime I would have brought along 2 folding chairs and a coffee table with tea and biscuits to have a conversation here….)

As he gracefully hopped towards the Admin block, we followed behind…

Cuz: (What an idiot!! Man wish I had a tennis ball and racket, I could play superbly on that sheenlac finished court…. (Reference: the bobbing shiny bald head of w/m walking oops sorry, hopping ahead…) )

Me: (What on earth does this guy think he is doing?? The princi is gonna stare at him like he was some alien fugitive if he goes up to tell him that he caught us talking in the parking lot. Talking! For heaven’s sake!!!)

Suddenly as if what I thought hit him, He stopped, turned around, and with a huge sigh of relief, he said, ‘The Principal won’t be there now, he would have left.” And with a collective frown and bloodshot eyes that could give the Captain a run for his money, “Next time I catch you people standing and talking there I will take you there for sure”…

I swear I saw him wipe a few drops of sweat from the side of his face….

Me: (yeah sure buddy, I would love to see you do that….)

He gave our cards, turned and collectively marched and hopped simultaneously back to his cell (To the background score of ‘ Baasha… tng da dng tng, Baasha…. tng da dng tng)

Cuz and me(looking at each other, bewildered, yet suppressing a laugh): Are you sure we haven’t teleported ourselves to Kilpauk by any chance??!!!

End of story.

Dear readers, those who expected to see me going to the principal’s office; facing the dreaded enquiry (Rumours say that they give catching practice in there) and bringing you an insider story, I deeply apologize to have disappointed you. Due to the lack of any occurrence, I couldn’t write a book on ‘how I got caught for talking in college, went through an enquiry and got kicked out’, sell its movie rights and become a millionaire. Damn! (Thought I could retire ASAP for a moment!!) The judge (read god), refused to let me out on parole from my 4 year prison sentence. Sadly.

P.S. the watchman doesn’t speak English. I repeat he doesn’t speak English. I just typed the conversation in English for ease of typing. :-)

The Bi annual event at CIT- Semester Examinatons

The complete murder of intellect.
The rise of Memory power.
The triumph of the 'mug and spit' technique.

Come and watch the greatest test of mankind on earth,
Semester Examinations.

Showing every April and November at CIT(Inc. other dote 1 colleges), and in May and December at every college affiliated to Anna Univ. Don't miss it!!!!!!!!!

ANNA UNIV PRESENTS A MESSED UP VC'S
PRODUCTION SEMESTER EXAMINATIONS STARRINGUNSUSPECTING STUDENTS
PRODUCED BY PRINCIPALS DIRECTED BY GOD
WRITTEN BY FATE A ANNA UNIV PICTURE
RATED AS HOPELESS BY THE BOARD OF STUDENTS.
SOUNDTRACK TO BE RELEASED SHORTLY IN THE
ALBUM SONGS UNDER INFLUENCE OF 'WATER'

Some interestin pics i found in my hard disk...

That's intel, my sis's penguin, n he's learnin calculus in case you can't c...

Roof Deck anyone???? Far far away from human civilisation, in a house amidst a jungle, a dog rides his stallion, a silver Swift....dec 06'

I clicked this one on a door at a music store in singapore.... nov 06'

Thirty thousand miles gone, yet so many more to go......

Love

Love. It’s a word which was supposedly divine a few centuries ago. Today it’s more commercial than ever. I have often wondered, what is this ‘love’? What does one mean when one says that he/she loves you? I had a conversation on this recently with a friend and this is what we came up with.

Is physical attraction a factor for love? Would you say that you love a person just because he or she looks good? I don’t think so, physical attraction is just physical attraction. All male and female hormones are such that you are naturally attracted to the opposite gender. This in no way can be classified as true love. So that done away with, consider a person whom u supposedly love. That person meets with an accident. Now naturally you feel for that person. Now is that love? No way! It’s defined as sympathy, because if a dog on the street met with an accident any person with a heart in his soul would feel for the dog and help it. I’m sure that you would agree with me that just because you feel for a dog doesn’t mean that you love it and that you would devote the rest of your life for that dog. If there is anyone who would argue with me on this, I have nothing to say to you.

Love is just something commercial. People say that they are in love just because relationships are the trend right now. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is quite equivalent to having a fashionable personal accessory. Some how love today isn’t just what love is supposed to be. Somehow as you think about it, love itself seems to be just a figment of one’s imagination; some self created relation just for namesake to cover up some ulterior motive of man. It seems to be something designed to make up for man’s selfish deeds. I wonder what exactly one desires to obtain when he/she says that they love someone. Does LOVE really exist???

Life.

I walk alone down an empty lane.

A lane full of distant memories

Thinking about the past, I dwell on, the strange path

My life has taken….

Life is a gamble I realize,

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose…

The stakes were high, yet I placed my bet

Belief is all that I thrived upon, yet I lost..

Oh god why is it that I never win??

Is my destiny to be a loser all my life??

I wonder.

I reach the end of the empty lane,

To a place full of life, full of colour, full of vibe.

Damn, I realize what a fool I’ve been,

Life is not a straight track horse race.

Look around I tell myself,

God never makes loners.

Never dwell on something that was never meant to be yours.

Destiny is in my hands, not fate’s…

Chennai travails

Bajaj Pulsar: I have always accepted that it was a good and good looking bike, but I didn't necessarily worship it. But a recent tryst with the above mentioned species made me gain new found respect for it's kind. It just makes u wanna go on and on and on...(ahem I meant when u ridin r on da road.what were u thinking?) I have driven a unicorn courtesy my cousin and I loved it's awesome smoothness but as I discovered I get maximum driving pleasure not frm the Unicorn but frm the Pulsar due to it's two toned nature, silent when u r soft on the throttle and growling to life when u twist it dat inch more... it maybe common on the road but as the common man's cure to his need to be identified with, I don't see any other alternative. Pulsar Hooligans, I just joined ur bandwagon....

Election offer: Vote for 1 criminal, get another FREE!!!

Business establishments have for long practised several marketing strategies to get their sales charts rising. Sudden offers and sale's have always set graphs on fire and have proved to be effcient methods of promotion and clearance of stocks. I have always been a keen supporter of the corporate way of gettings things done. Efficient and meritorious with better turnovers and profits being the only consideration and nothing else standing in the way. I've always believed that marketing strategists and economists should rule a country as they can make the best out of it's economy.

But lately i have found that TN political parties seen to have taken this marketing strategy thing too seriously albeit the recent ad's one has been seeing on TV or hearing on radio. If you are wondering what i'm talking about, it's the recent ad on Sun Tv that has irked me. 'Vote for udhayasuriyan and get a gas stove free'(plus a kid modelling for the ad). It seemed too sleazy, c'mon people if it had been something like 'buy a prestige cooker and get a gas stove free' it would have been well and good. but vote and get a stove free?? Does it make any sense?? Ok lets say the party is seriously interested in improving the welfare of the people,consider this: now a guy has got a gas stove, so who's gonna get the gas? if he has so much money to buy a god damn cylinder he would have had bought a stove in the first place right?? I wonder if this is just another ploy to sell more cylinders rather. I wouldn't have gotten so apprehensive had they offered free solar cookers or something(ahh we would accept that the party is socially,environmentally and economically aware).

Lets forget the gas stove for a bit. Even more atrocious is the free tv offer for everyone. I've heard of free clothes for people(it actually made sense to me, cos they were addressing the need of people below the poverty line by providing free clothing), but free tv's?? I can think of this to be just another proposition by which they plan to increase their Tv channel viewership(and increase trp ratings of programmes, get more sponsers etc etc..the chain goes on) and nothing else. all the ladies at home are just gonna sit infront of the Tv and watch serial after serial. If this happens, when on earth are we gonna see woman empowerment and the rise of a woman in Indian society?? If such a situation occurs then social evils like Dowry, polygamy and all the assorted crap will continue to prevail.

Now lets talk about what we, the consumers(this is a corporate world-so to every political party we are a consumer) would like from a political party.first and foremost, a steady government(do you know that in countries like singapore the prime minister and respective MP's retain their position for more than just a five year tenure). Given the situation in our country it's not the kids faultif he flunks in social studies if he forgets the PM's or CM's name- they keep changing every other day rite?? I'm sure everyone would be happy if the government could offer: jobs to every guy depending on their talent, proper infrastructure, medical facilities etc. Our list has been the same for decades. I wonder how the Politicians seem to nicely miss out on what we exaclty ask for and give us crap that we don't need. Hey any politco's out there listening? just give us what we want ok, we don't need you to buy us our tv sets. we can get ourselves what we want thank you...

English-who owns it??

briteesh destraayed avar kantry faar 150 ears. Let us destraay theiyer languvedge foryever.. Do itt yend yenjaay.... Gudd maarningguu...

This was a SMS I received some time ago. Initially I thought that the Queen had agreed to make the changes as per the EU's suggestions.(that was another joke ppl who have been using email for quite sometime would know. you might have got this mail some time ago say 6 or 7 years back..it was meant to mock the EU's system or somethin--gettin back to where I was), I finally figured out what they were trying to get to me.. So I was just pondering over this message in class when a "well-informed" classmate saw the message and popped the question, "hey since when did English belong to the British? I thought it was the American's discovery?" I nearly got a heart attack. So as I drilled some history classes to him, his question kept ringing at the back of my head. Given today's globalisation trend(a favourite topic of my college Director-Globalisation) Engish actually, hardly belongs to the English. It is a global language. Every guy from Afghanistan to Zurkinistan(sorry u won't find that in the map cos I created that) speaks english with a good measure of the local accent mixed in, just like HSBC does. Global banking done locally.(ever seen HSBC ad's ?)

Just walk into a local girls convent school, you'll understand what I mean. An example is , "hey don't stand in the veyil"(no harm meant der, oh fairer sex :)). so as I was saying, you go to tamil nadu you hear tanglish, drop by singapore and you'll get a taste of Singlish(where people rather tend to sing rather than speak. want more examples? try this-"yeah la", "can la", " cmon la, can't tahan or what?") . Now make a trans-continental flight to the land down under and voila you've found a new way of speaking British English... So as we go through places we find that the language is being manipulated and incorporated the world over with the basic essence being the same.

Anybody reading this ever seen a Russell Peter show? For those who don't know wh0 he is, he's an Indo-Canadian Comedian. I happened to see one of his shows(one of my friends had a copy in his comp) the guy said in one of his shows that the world is mixing that in 300 years we won't have white's, black's, yellow's or brown's. Everyone is gonna look beige. His reason?: the major population of the world comprises of Indians and Chinese(add up all da ppl in India, China and all da Ind's n Chin's in da rest of da world u'll get more than just 2 billion.)So sooner or later we are gonna hump u and all we'll have is beige kids..(no offense there again :) incase u are wonderin what there is to be offensed about, just forget it ;) ) But the fact is that what he said is true. Not the humping bit, but the part about the world mixing, and hence the barriers of language disappearing as well. Hmm I think i've put in enough words to express what I felt like tellin, if you still have no idea what I was talkin about, forget it cos I have no idea either.

Pachydermatous Asiaeus

Pachydermatous asiaeus. it's da medical term for a new disease to have affected a part of tamil nadu. To be more specific: CIT in Coimbatore. I have no idea to the origins of this malady which i shall henceforth refer to as the Asia syndrome. Affected persons can be easily identified by their speech which is littered with the word 'Asia' at the end of all or most exclamations. I believe it was a term created to mock a person who has tried saying or doing something that he thinks is funny, but recent trends have been changing. It's being added everywhere. Words like 'tryasia' , 'betrasia' 'comedasia' were the trend but people have taken the concept to such an extent that words like
'seruppula-appitasia' have started poppin up. for those who are not prolific in tamil, 'seruppula appa' means to be slippered literally. you may wonder where on earth did asia come up in that.Good question. beats me. Any tamil linguists around? or maybe some one workin on a doctorate in tamil? U could consider doing ur thesis on dis new found dialect maybe...
till then i shall just sit n ponder over the intricacies of this ... hmm what do u call that? asia syndrome..... byeasia to everyone....

22,222 kilometres on my Dio n still runnin...(dis was taken a month back actually-da count is 23,900 now..:) 

Pattiyal

Hmm. Pattiyal. it's a tamil flick for the uninformed and it's interesting unlike the recent crop of sleazy or dumb storylined things that were released. due to my limited tamil vocab i don't see any link between the title and the film cos as long as i know pattiyal means a list or putting things in a list or something on those lines... but who cares. the film is good(especially with pretty faces like pooja :)-- hey i always liked her since da film JJ though i don't find Padma priya(the other female lead) so inspiring inspite of the reduction she has had in terms of clothing...:))

Decently nice songs(though lotsa eng pop influences were visible), not too much of a masala mixture with a slightly different storyline n voila, we've got a run of the mill story with a difference. finally tamil cinema is seeing some non standard films without 'all's well that ends well' happy endings. They have started to grip us a bit and leave us pondering at the end and pattiyal is one of them. Arya and Bharat i can't really say much as in terms of acting no one in da film has done any record breaking stuff or anything but everyone has made decent performances with the 1st half being seriously hilarious. seriously ppl it was real fun. the second half gets senti and a bit dull but a few twists and the viewer is made to sit up and watch again.

All in all it's worth a watch though the older generation might not like it(my uncle fell asleep watchin it) but i'm sure no oldies are gonna be readin my blog, so my verdict: worth a watch.

P.S. others opinions may differ frm(hey i liked da story, i think Pooja is seriously cute-neone got a prob wid dat?) . I just typed out what i felt.

And this will be my last blog for a few weeks as my semesters are comin up so my dear readers(if there r any) i'll be back in may.stay tuned..

Some stuff abt me.....

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Aswin Dorairaj a.k.a Ash, Asi, Mokkai etc....
Birthday:	Jan 7th
Birthplace:	coimbatore
Places been to:	Everywhere Including heaven in my dreams. else it's a std list :Singapore(spent my whole life der) , malaysia(Holiday haven), Australia, Thailand n been in good ol' India for 5 years now...
Current Location:	Coimbatore
Eye Color:	black
Hair Color:	black
Height:	5' 10"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right. when i'm drivin, both.
Your Heritage:	it's damn long...
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Sandals actually
Your Weakness:	short temper..
Your Fears:	phobophobia?
Your Perfect Pizza:	hmm extra cheese...
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	At least 1 against Olivier Kahn.....:)
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	hey whatz up?
Thoughts First Waking Up:	good nite....
Your Best Physical Feature:	totally no idea.....
Your Bedtime:	anytime b/w 12 am to 12 am da next day...
Your Most Missed Memory:	school life in singapore
Pepsi or Coke:	neither...
MacDonalds or Burger King:	KFC rox!!!
Single or Group Dates:	if it's dating it has to be a couple...
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Ice tea baby!!!!!
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate...
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	Passively yes. can't help it wid these enviro conditions...
Do you Swear:	Rarely........
Do you Sing:	No plz no........
Do you Shower Daily:	I gotta else i can't stay alive.....
Have you Been in Love:	hmm Am tryin to figure out dat myself....
Do you want to go to College:	I think it shd be more like , do u wanna stay in college.. cos da way things seem to be going.. i might end out soon...
Do you want to get Married:	At some point of life yes.
Do you belive in yourself:	Sure. I believe in myself more than da guy next door...
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Never till dis moment...
Do you think you are Attractive:	does what i think matter here....:)
Are you a Health Freak:	yeah
Do you get along with your Parents:	yeah..
Do you like Thunderstorms:	I love em....
Do you play an Instrument:	nopes...
In the past month have you Drunk Alcohol:	no
In the past month have you Smoked:	refer to question above(regarding smoking)
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	prescribed by da doc. yes
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Mall? in Coimbatore? U gotta be kiddin!!!
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No. Miss em like hell :X
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	I've got an aversion to raw food......
In the past month have you been on Stage:	yeah. Did a paper...
In the past month have you been Dumped:	might be soon.. frm my house......:) Kicked out whd be da more appropriate term here...
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	nope...
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	don't think so...
Ever been Drunk:	nah
Ever been called a Tease:	huh??
Ever been Beaten up:	Mildly.....
Ever Shoplifted:	nah
How do you want to Die:	Like Ayrton Senna maybe.....
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	I'm quite grown up already... U mean grown old?? Alive would do i guess
What country would you most like to Visit:	Rest of India..... been quite around da world but never inside India
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Gotta ask da deaaler....:)
Number of CDs I own:	god noes.....
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	nah. i just try to get over it...
This was from a survey I took @ http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/

ok this photo was taken by me during Quest. It was stuck up by some first years as part of AdQuest(an ad campaign competition where u have to advertise innovatively for Quest) N since dis chart contained da word Srishti da Editor n I couldn't resist takin a pic courtesy my Sony ericsson K700i !!! thanx to da Cool Fools for advert.. for Srishti!!!!

Well i did find one pic. Dis was taken at da same below mentioned restaurant where my senior swung on a swing!! We had a heck of a time ringing da bell n makin da waiter scurry to our table cos then we discovered dat da bell was meant for callin him!!!!!!!! 

Making of Srishti

Finally, after 2 weeks of toiling, Srishti goes into print. being a junior does have it's advantages and disadvantages. You get free lunches from your seniors when you are on such jobs but you get equally worked for that.I guess my seniors know how to squeeze every bang out of their buck!!! Any way getting back to the process, it was fun editing as you actually learn a lot of stuff when you run through factual articles like what one of my friends had written. Through his articles I learnt that Dan Brown doesn't know his art that well and that Uncle Sam , well, is truly Uncle Sam, and yeah before I forget I also discovered that there were jobless people around arguing as to whether earth evolved or was created....

The fun parts are that I got to work in an Air-conditoned room(the DTP room) away from the sweltering heat of Coimbatore and I got to watch professional graphic designers at work. Boy was the guy awesome! He cut, copied and pasted like it was his birthright to do so or something... As we ran through the proofs doing proof 1 upto 3 wth all the layouts and pics and stuff, watching the pieces falling into place and becoming a complete magazine I kind of felt like how a mother feels when she watches her child grow and become a complete person. Sorry for the sentimetal statement there but it was exactly how I wanted to express the feeling at that point. As I was typing this out I realised dat I should have taken a few pics of what we did during editing: would have been fun but unfortunately I only have one pic of my senior swinging on a swing at a restaurant where we had lunch during those editing sessions, but I don't think she would be very happy with me if I did publish it on my blog. Never play with the sub-editors(or editors) of Srishti is one rule I learnt!!!!!!!

P.S. I automatically edited my article for typos, so no shortforms and stuff here. I guess it's an after effect of having been doing it for weeks!!!!!!

Do you have bird flu?

Do you have bird flu?

Here’s a quick checklist:

1. You start preserving round objects

2. You like cute chicks

3. You tend to flap your hands

4. you peck your neighbour whenever angry

5. You find feathers on your bed

6. Eggheads please you

If you check atleast 4 out of six, Please contact

Dr.HENry Cluck @ 24734357(BIRD HELP)

For more details log on to:

www.I-AM-A-CHICK.com

Another corner seat experience...

Another of my Contributions to Shristi 06' of CIT

As I sit in class, oblivious of the world,

as I roam the distant lands with only my soul,

a cool winter breeze impinges on my frosted skin,

awakening me to reality.

Eastwards arises the majestic sun,

Providing relief from winter’s chill,

amidst this, wafts through,

the scent of fresh lavender bathed in dew.

As I look for the source,

I am blinded by scintillating beauty, like a flash of lighting,

That I have never seen such a vibrant thing,

That defies the sun, and devours all,

Beauty so fresh, so innocent,

It kills both mind and soul.

Who is this girl I wonder?

An angel or goddess?

Or maybe a temptress from deep under the earth gallows…

As she eloquently drifts away,

She claims both my heart and soul,

And again I lie in class, oblivious of all…

technovation

Ahh technovation has come and gone. for those of U who don't know what it is, it's da annual technical symposium Conducted by CIT. i realise technical symposiums sound boring but da fact dat we spent several days assisting da seniors in preparation work n da though of a 2 day break from monotonous college classes plus an extra 3rd day thrown in as recovery day does pep up one's spirits. we did tire ourselves for 2 days running errands n doin lotsa background work as our 3rd year guys went about conducting all da events n i crawled into bed each night feet aching, but da treat at da end did make up for it partially and da supposedly special treat coming up does make up for it a 100%... so anyone needs help in preparing for a college tech fest or cultural? im here to help as long i get dat sumptious dinner treat.........