Doomsday clock advances!

CHICAGO/CHENNAI. The Bulletin of Atomic scientists today released a press statement, announcing that the doomsday clock has been shifted to 30 seconds to midnight. This announcement, today has sent shock waves throughout the world as the clock reached the closest time to midnight since its inception in 1953, which according to the board means catastrophic destruction on earth which can include complete annihilation of the human species. The clock though initially created just to represent the threat of global nuclear war, now signifies any change in climate or activities that may threaten or create harm to humans.

The press release also stated that the reason for this sudden decision to advance the clock by 4.5 minutes to 30 seconds, from its current position of 5 minutes was due to recent activities in the Southern part of India, namely the state of Tamil Nadu. The recent spate of movie releases by a certain south Indian actor by the name of Joseph Vijay has been deemed by the bulletin to be "hazardous and of harm to anyone who watches the movie", unnamed sources said. The bulletin also warned that one more movie from the said person could raise tensions across the world with many governments already involved in a covert operation to protect their citizens from watching the movie. Our Intel revealed that these operations include discreet activities such as booking all tickets at every show, making theatres apparate thus leaving citizens lost and even paying Vijay to perform in advertisements, supporting the Chennai SuperKings at every practise session, changing room team meet and providing a dance intro to MS Dhoni at every batting session. The International Monetary Fund is in the process of allocating a global budget for this purpose. Sources from within the Indian government have been quoted as saying that the Indian parliament is not amused by this man's antics and is contemplating on a ban if he attempts another movie despite all the precautions. The utilisation of the controversial POTA act is also being mulled, though political observers feel that the government might be better off by just putting in place a 50km radius ban on him and any video or still camera.

Unsuspecting fans who fervently awaited his new release "vettaikaran" which was screened at theatres on Dec 18th, exited the theatres in tears as they mulled on the sanity of their once beloved star. " He is just getting worse by the day! He jumped onto the roofs of trains in previous films and now he dares break pillars with his bare hands! Does he think he is the Captain or what??", wailed a film buff as she left the theatre, completely distraught at the insult to her superstar, "The Captain", Vijayakanth. Film critics consider this day a sad day in Indian Cinema if not as worse as previous attempts by him. Noted film Director James Cameroon though was heard to have commented that Joseph Vijay might have been a cheaper alternative to all the expensive computer graphic imagery that he spent on in his film "Avatar" which simultaneously released worldwide. When contacted for further comments, government officials had only this to say, "All we can do is wait and see, He has not performed any illegal activity as such and hence no legal action will be taken at this point. With the recent spate of such films not only from Kollywood, but the rest of India too, the judiciary is mulling introducing new laws that may make bad film making an illegal activity. At that point, society shall no longer be at his mercy, He shall be at ours." They said, with an evil glint in their eyes.

Random ramblings of the week

Ok, its been a reeeeeeaaaaaaly long time since I blogged and wanted to put in something so as to give life to it. :D Interesting events have been happening off late in the news. people fast in Andhra and our benevolent govt decides they deserve a new state. What is with that? Can I fast and insist that I have the democratic republic of Ramnagar for myself to rule?? While I'm at it I would like to anneexe some coastal regions of Goa and Kerala as well. Wait why annexe just parts of it. Coimbatore, Ooty, Cochin, Goa. It all belongs to me. I also want Tirupur. Where would we be without some form of international trade? I could barter with Obama. Give us cheap oil that you stole from the Iraqis and Cheap electronics at Amazon.com and newegg.com prices if you want cheap Gap T-shirts that you can sell to the consumer at ten times the price. :P :D I shall create a "democratic" country ruled by me :P and, umm, and all right, I haven't got a plan in place, but tell me, does TRS either? I doubt it? All he wants is a state that he thinks he can claim and with Hyderabad as its capital. Some how everyone thinks its going to be the doom of Hyderabad and not the rise of Telengana. Andhra will be fine. It has Vizag, Vijayawada, Tirupathi(Richest god in the world) to itself, and of course the Reddy bothers and their vast mines, So Andhra will do fine and rise back. But Telengana? we'll have to wait and see. here are some interesting facebook status messages I picked out over the week, all related to the Telengana issue:

- I'm going on a hunger fast demanding the partitioning of my choco chip cookie. - Courtesy Nikila, I personally liked this one. Infact I wanted to post a reply stating that I was going to go on a hunger fast demanding the partitioning of her choco chip cookie and insist that the half that had the choco chips in it belonged to me :P, but I never got round to posting my demands....

- People in India fast and they get a new state... EE grads in USC fast and don't sleep and all they get is bad grades. - Courtesy my overworked USC grad student Srinath :D

I have an unrelated word of warning to the Indian government: Please don't ferry any VIP's in Indian Air Force Vehicles. They are sitting targets for Snipers! If you are wondering why, look at this link:

http://www.loupiote.com/photos/3740818562.shtml

Why do you have to paint a car blue, and then draw a nice bulls eye on it? The vehicle I saw on the roads here had bigger bull's eyes that then one in the image! I know its based on the Indian flag, but still, what were they thinking?? Alright, we know unrelenting terrorists are going to come up and blow stuff up anyway, but why make it easy for them? They jolly well better take the effort to aim and fire!