Engg in a state called Tamil Nadu.....

Three years of engineering education is over. And what have I learnt?? Here is a recap…..

- Examinations are the birthplace of mega^{^∞} serial story writers. Man the stories that are concocted in the examination are out of the world and unless you are a good writer and write stories for no less than forty pages, you will never make it big. I am one of those continuous flop producing writers mind you, so it has been a bitter experience seeing all those talented folk fly past me… sniff sniff….

- Whatever you study in the fours years of college will not in the least help you in your future, for the simple fact that, whatever you studied ‘was’ the latest in technology approximately half a century ago.

- Attendance is a matter of personal opinion. The staff’s personal opinion. If he thinks you need attendance to get through college, you are screwed. You get no internals. If the staff member is a pretty lenient guy whose just whiling away his life happily in college like several of my dept. staff, you get away easy..

- Inference from previous fact. Sign a contract with Amul. Because you’ll need all the butter that you can muster to butter up the staff. Apply as required(butter).

- As each semester passes by, study holidays tend to seem more like a prelude to what you can expect to do during the hols rather than a time when you actually get down to doing some studying…

- And finally, It’s a scam. Engineering education in Tamil Nadu is a SCAM!!! If you ask why? For heaven’s sake aren’t the above points enough?? Now I know why the industry complains about lack of graduates with proper skills. All the skills we develop thro’ 4 years are laziness, laziness and more laziness……..

Forgotten memories: 4th sem....

With everyone around writing about their experience with the wiring instructor, I thought it was about time I chipped in a bit about my experience too! But unfortunately my wiring experience was eventless with the only thing worth mentioning was that I didn’t study at all for my wiring lab test and as fate would have it got one of the complicated circuits, yet I drew the whole circuit completely by copying from a strategically placed chart with the circuit diagram on it on the wall in front of me(hail the brilliance of the wiring guy!!). So I am not going to talk about wiring. So what is it you may wonder? Read on I say……

Avanga Naaalu peru. Avangalaku bayama kidaiyathu*(at least that is what we are supposed to believe).They are part of the elite force of CIT. They toil day and night in shifts, risking their sleep to protect the institution. Yes they are the great watchmen!!!

This story has one hero (just one particular watchman). The story begins….

A summer evening around 5.30 p.m. The CIT parking lot. Amidst the few remaining bikes, stood a guy and a gal chatting. The guy was me. Wait, I can hear a few ‘ahems’ here. Let me clarify. The girl in this context, is technically speaking, my aunt.!!?? My mom’s direct cousin, but being younger than me by a few months, yet in a senior class to me, she prefers referring to me as her cousin to prevent any embarrassing moments in her class. Hence forth she shall be referred to as my cuz. So we were chit chatting standing by the bikes and this is what happened. (It is in conversation format and whatever is in brackets was what was running through our minds)

Cuz: So how are your studies and stuff?? Blah blah blah…(great Q. Exaclty what is not my forte and she asks about it)

Me: Blah blah blah….(Boring totally unnecessary crap. You don't wanna hear it, which is why i've used blah blah blah.)

As this goes on the afore mentioned watchman creeps up…

Wm: Which college are you from? Where is your ID??(At me)

Wm: same Question as above at my Cuz.

Me:huh? We are from CIT… (Hi I am Dr.Woodwards from MIT, USA and am here to do a survey on the dumbest college watchmen. You fit our specifications perfectly. Would you like to be our prime example? ) (Add a weird look to my face)

We showed him the ID cards which he promptly grabbed from us, turned around and started bunny hopping towards the main block while uttering the following lines.

Wm: Don’t you know that you are not supposed to stand and talk here? Get you ID cards from the principal’s office tomorrow…

Me: Huh?? What??(WTF?? Dear me had you told me earlier that standing and talking in the parking lot was a crime I would have brought along 2 folding chairs and a coffee table with tea and biscuits to have a conversation here….)

As he gracefully hopped towards the Admin block, we followed behind…

Cuz: (What an idiot!! Man wish I had a tennis ball and racket, I could play superbly on that sheenlac finished court…. (Reference: the bobbing shiny bald head of w/m walking oops sorry, hopping ahead…) )

Me: (What on earth does this guy think he is doing?? The princi is gonna stare at him like he was some alien fugitive if he goes up to tell him that he caught us talking in the parking lot. Talking! For heaven’s sake!!!)

Suddenly as if what I thought hit him, He stopped, turned around, and with a huge sigh of relief, he said, ‘The Principal won’t be there now, he would have left.” And with a collective frown and bloodshot eyes that could give the Captain a run for his money, “Next time I catch you people standing and talking there I will take you there for sure”…

I swear I saw him wipe a few drops of sweat from the side of his face….

Me: (yeah sure buddy, I would love to see you do that….)

He gave our cards, turned and collectively marched and hopped simultaneously back to his cell (To the background score of ‘ Baasha… tng da dng tng, Baasha…. tng da dng tng)

Cuz and me(looking at each other, bewildered, yet suppressing a laugh): Are you sure we haven’t teleported ourselves to Kilpauk by any chance??!!!

End of story.

Dear readers, those who expected to see me going to the principal’s office; facing the dreaded enquiry (Rumours say that they give catching practice in there) and bringing you an insider story, I deeply apologize to have disappointed you. Due to the lack of any occurrence, I couldn’t write a book on ‘how I got caught for talking in college, went through an enquiry and got kicked out’, sell its movie rights and become a millionaire. Damn! (Thought I could retire ASAP for a moment!!) The judge (read god), refused to let me out on parole from my 4 year prison sentence. Sadly.

P.S. the watchman doesn’t speak English. I repeat he doesn’t speak English. I just typed the conversation in English for ease of typing. :-)

The Bi annual event at CIT- Semester Examinatons

The complete murder of intellect.
The rise of Memory power.
The triumph of the 'mug and spit' technique.

Come and watch the greatest test of mankind on earth,
Semester Examinations.

Showing every April and November at CIT(Inc. other dote 1 colleges), and in May and December at every college affiliated to Anna Univ. Don't miss it!!!!!!!!!

ANNA UNIV PRESENTS A MESSED UP VC'S
PRODUCTION SEMESTER EXAMINATIONS STARRINGUNSUSPECTING STUDENTS
PRODUCED BY PRINCIPALS DIRECTED BY GOD
WRITTEN BY FATE A ANNA UNIV PICTURE
RATED AS HOPELESS BY THE BOARD OF STUDENTS.
SOUNDTRACK TO BE RELEASED SHORTLY IN THE
ALBUM SONGS UNDER INFLUENCE OF 'WATER'

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